a journey of a starless night

serene. tranquil. peaceful.



terdengar dua perkataan itu hari ini
sedang pujuk diri sendiri

sabarlah wahai hati...

headed to penang at around 4.30pm
afraid there will be heavy traffic on the bridge
it was clear...

went out again at 6.30pm
fetched iryna at her house
i drove the car because dama's feet were somehow cramped

we went to queensbay
zanna wanted to dine at nando's
i was half full due to nasi kenduri before that
but i just finished what's on my plate by the way
did not want it to go into the bin

entered into forever 21
got myself 2 dresses
that's all i could afford

by the time we've done with our shopping
we went to feringghi
bought DVDs there
complete 5th and 6th season of CSI:crime scene investigations
i was thinking into buying more
but i managed to resist the temptation

1/4 extra hot chicken with 2 sidelines
peri chips and coleslaw

dama zanna

she's cute

woke up at 10am

took a shower and pressed my kebaya for wedding invitation
watched tv while waiting dama and zanna to get ready

our friend, nurul fahizha, was getting married on 24th in sungai petani

we only got out from the house at 2.30pm
we were late
by the time we reached there, not many people left
i missed the makan berdamai and photo shoot on the pelamin

the pelamin
patutnya kaler purple
nampak kaler gold lak

the hantaran from the bride's
x kira lak ada bape

the bride
she's beautiful

hugs from me
congratulations ex partner

sudah diikat...

went to penang on 22nd
took a 9.30pm bus from kota bharu to penang
never been there on bus
dama asked me to wake her up once i was on the penang bridge
turned out i slept all the way until i reached sg nibong bus station
luckily, her house is only 10 minutes from the bus station

we talked a bit before went to sleep
kononnya aku xnak tido sampai pagi sebab takut lambat bangun nak ke rumah zanna
woke up at 1pm

her mom allowed us to use her car
so we had road trip to ipoh
chenderiang to be precise

departed at around 2.30pm
me and dama talked a lot
we became mature adults doing all the talking

main topic was about the palestinians massacre by the zionist
and there were others as well
like what should we do to contribute to our country
sounds very serious right?

arrived at about 4.30pm
zanna's mom was very happy to see us
we were happy too, aunty

zanna'z mom cooked black pepper beef and chicken wings grilled with honey
and there's a vege soup also
we ate like bulls
they were all heavenly delicious~~~

before we went back to penang tagging zanna along, aunty made capati and sambal tumis udang dan petai
i was drooling all the way...
that was yummy!!

from zanna'z house at 9pm
we headed to penang
arrived at around 1am

i was too sleepy
but hey, we still watched DVD that night
new movie
haven't shown in cinema yet
story about benjamin button
brad pitt starred in it
i only watched the starting and the ending
i lulled myself to sleep in the middle

just got back from holiday

had lunch with farihan at uncle's

hehe :)

1. I am

2. I want to go to

3. My favourite place is

4. My favourite thing is

5. My favourite drink is

6. My favourite food is

7. My favourite colour is

8. I was born in

9. I live in

10. These were my secondary school

11. My favourite movie is

as well as two towers and return of the king (malas nak cari lagi dua tu)

12. I like to

13. I wish i am

sila tafsir sendiri ye

it's been a while since the last time i wrote poems

i just don't have the inspirations to write one

and what's with a hectic life i'm living through right now


me and classmates were rushing for our exam just now
finished clinic at 4.30pm
rushed to the lab to pour model and left it there
walked as fast as we could to musalla and performed asar
by 5pm, we were ready at the foyer waiting for the door to open before we could enter the hall

i sat in between my 2 friends, 2 rows from the back
i was hoping to get chance for cheating (i'm bad. i know :P)
but i behaved
i didn't cheat even though i could
i want to be honest to myself (jawapan poyo ye kawan2 :P)

exam finished within 1 hour
and i'm partly relieved


because we have another exam this very thursday

i have surgical posting exam tomorrow afternoon
30 MCQs questions (tembak je :P)
starts at 5.15pm (gila kan?)
and i haven't read anything yet

feel sleepy
wanna sleep lorh :P

i have few projects in my hands

1 community service (more like co organizer)
1 money making project (xtau la camne nak start ni...)
1 state level project
1 national level project (this still have long way to go...)

semua ni adalah denan kerjasama beberapa persatuan lain
tapi tetap gak memeningkan pale aku yang memang selalu pening ni

jom minum hot nescafe ~~

sudah lebih jam 12 malam
patutnya waktu ini aku sudah lena dibuai mimpi
tapi sebab aku ada meeting pukul 9 tadi
maka aku masih lagi di depan kotak empat segi ini
xtau la esok camne


azan maghrib berkumandang
24 seasons drum pun start...

tonight is the Chinese New Year Night here in health campus
i'm not going though
i've never been to any of celebrations while i'm here since my second year

i only attended Mooncake Festival once, Indian Cultural Night once and CNY night once
all during my first year

nothing much to do today
only reading novel, facebook-ing, and snacking


i cooked for my friends for lunch
went out to buy the ingredients first

on our way back, i saw a banner:

COKE, MCDONALD'S, (apa tah lagi satu.x ingat)

i was clueless why suddenly they wrote RAMLY burger on the banner

once i arrived at the hostel, i prepared the ingredients
started everything at 2.30pm
my friends were not allowed to enter my room until i asked them
i wanted nobody to help me with the cooking

first, i made the soup
i put macaroni, carrot, potatoes, mushrooms and fish balls into the soup

second, i cooked sardines
bought 2 cans of sardines because we have big bellies

then, i fried the chicken
added chilli powder with turmeric powder to the chicken

farihan helped me to make telur dadar
oh, and she cooked the rice too :)

started eating at 4pm
at that time, we were so hungry
we ate quietly, enjoying our meal

today is friday
i woke up early this morning (which is miracle.huhu)

plan to cook for lunch for my friends
what's the menu?...

wait till i finish cooking

first, my patient for morning session didn't come i've given appointment
reason was, she could not find parking to the clinic plus it was raining heavily and she just left the clinic
she tried to call me many times but could not get through

after almost one hour of waiting, i called her to ask of her whereabouts
she said she'd arrived few minutes after i called her earlier. but after she couldn't find parking, she went back to her office
i was so frustrated to hear that...

i quickly wrote my name requesting for patient at Klinik Rakan Keluarga
after hours of waiting, no patient for me

i wasted another clinical session

in the afternoon, i assisted my partner
tidied up our place after she finished her work

suddenly, my classmate raised her voice to me across my cubicle
there was many people when yelled at me

i was stunned and surprised
i couldn't believe she could do that

she humiliated me in front of other classmates and staffs in the clinic

dia kata aku mengata dia belakang dia
dia ungkit benda-benda yang dia tolong

aku ingat dia main-main mula-mula tu tapi x sangka lak memang betul2 dia marah kat aku
aku memang xtau sebab pe dia marah kat aku
mengalir setitik air mata aku dimarah depan orang ramai macam tu
aku xtau pun pe salah aku......

aku memang dah maafkan dia
tapi x mungkin aku lupa pe yang dah dia buat kat aku
x mungkin...

aku xnak lepaskan amarahku tiba2
lama aku latih diri aku belajar simpan semua dalan hati supaya xde yang terasa
tapi aku x boleh elak kalau ada seorang dua yang kecil hati dengan aku

untuk itu,
aku minta maaf ye andai ada yang secara x sengaja aku termarah atau tertinggi suara
maaf sangat2....

i sent an SMS to key during lab session this afternoon
asked her for dinner together because she's going back to campus tomorrow

she fetched me and another friend at 5.30pm
buleh pulak dia tertinggal kunci dalam keta...
kehujanan aku sebab xde payung
nasib la ada penyelamat
mekaseh abg Zack :P

went to KFC
key had zinger tower. i had x-meal. aiman had snack plate

we talked and chatted (dan makan, of course)
i was damn full...
paksa myself to finish my meal

wished her a very good luck in her final year
semoga kamu dapat siapkan fyp dengan jayanya


aku bermimpi buruk malam tadi

ada 3 orang dalam mimpi tu; aku, mak aku and an unknown guy

dalam mimpi tu, aku telah dikahwinkan dengan seorang lelaki yang x dikenali
mak aku merancang perkahwinan aku secara rahsia

mengamuk gak la kenapa aku xtau yang aku kena kahwin dengan laki tu
tau2 je dah kahwin dengan dia
macam orang gila aku melalak aku xnak laki tu jadi husband aku
dah sah2 x kenal kan....

tapi mak aku buat dekk je. ada ke patut
dah la x bagitau sebab musabab aku kena kahwin tiba2
yang laki tu lak beria nak aku jadi bini
ape kes??

bangun je pagi tadi, terus aku fikir
aku takut nak kahwin
kalau boleh, xnak kahwin
sampai sekarang pun aku teringat lagi mimpi tu
masa treat patient tadi pun terbawak-bawak lagi scene dalam mimpi tu kat dalam pale otak yang sepatutnya tengah fokus nak tampal gigi berlubang 3 batang tu
nasib baik la siap tampal sumer gigi


sekarang pun aku masih tetap berfikir yang aku takut untuk kahwin

budak dua org ni memang tau...

sesampainya dari KL pukul 5.30 pagi, aku terus amek cab balik ke kampus
sampai2 je dah pukul 6 pagi
terus mandi, solat, breakfast and kemas2 pape yang patut

berjalan kaki ke dental school untuk tunggu bas pukul 7 pagi
nak tidur dalam bas tapi xleh nak tidur lak

jauh gak rumah puteri harapan tu rupanya...

sampai2 je, terus set up tempat pameran, diet counseling, dan dental talk
ramai lagi belum sampai
ada gak yang sesat

jalan terhencut-hencut tapi gagahkan jugak tolong2 pape yang patut
angkat board
tampal bahan pameran
kemas tempat sikit2
buat mana2 yang larat dibuat je
masa tu kaki buleh tahan sakit lagi...

event start dalam pukl 8.30pagi
hafizi bagi briefing untuk budak2 kat situ
pembahagian kumpulan ikut umur
ada goodie bags from kodomo lion and colgate untuk budak2 tu
lepas tu, minum pagi dulu
aku lapar sangat..
makan 4 bij karipap

started at 9.30am
first group arrived and further divided into smaller groups
me and my friends who were responsible on giving dietary advice gave them the infos and correlation with oral health
ada yang dengar kata tu ok la..senang nak jaga

datang second group, ada budak lelaki yang suka melawan cakap
aku cakap, dia menyampuk
aku cakap, dia sembang
last sekali, aku cakap cmni
"dik, akak nak adik berdiri kat situ, buat starjump 5 kali"
aku cakap sambil tersenyum la
takkan nak tunjuk muka bengang kat dia kan...
terus terdiam budak tu
ada sorang classmate kat situ, hilmi, jadi penyelamat keadaan
"abang xnak, bila kakak tengah adik2 pun cakap jugak.kan kakak nak bagitau tu..."
pastu ok la...xde nak bengang2 lagi

datang another group, turn huda led the discussion
then i realized, there's one girl who didn't pay attention
i asked her, "dik, bosan ye?sape nama?"
and she continued to sleep
muka dia memang nampak cam nak carik gaduh gak la...
geleng pale aku

kakiku makin sakit lepas tengah hari
tahan dulu....
tolong pengarah susun hadiah dan prepare kuiz

i conducted the quiz session
seronok pulak tengok budak2 ni berebut nak jawab
especially standard 3 to 6 kids
kelakar la korang...

the advisor gave away prizes to them
everybody received prizes
all were happy
we took group photos
and the kids asked our autographs and phone numbers

went to campus by bus at 5.30 pm
stopped at a restaurant for dinner with 4 friends
on the way back, i asked them to walk ahead
didn't have to wait for me
i walked slowly...very slowly
the pain became intense
naseb suhaila lalu
tumpang kereta dia balik ke hostel

bersihkan diri, sembahyang dan tidur
penat sangat....

on our way to breakfast

nak gak

reading paper to kill our time before the event started

makcik ni nak gak amek gambo ngan uncle ronald

pose je lebeyh...


entrance: nak pose cmni gak
(ada orang lalu kat sebelah sebenarnya :P)

bergayutan beg di bahu

show me some love babeh

i'm shy
with free magazine

sexy mama?

farihan beria2 nak amek gambar ngan joe
she tagged me
aku segan seyh
tapi pose terover lak

i was bargaining something
tee hee hee

besh la mende alah ni
nanti nak beli bila dah duduk rumah sendiri
tgk show from Performing Arts students KDU
dancing to the song "When I Grow Up" PCD

neo was cut off from this photo

engaged in a serious discussion

sent farihan off to bangi
and walked as fast as i could to pwtc (again??)
i asked TPK to wait for me at the entrance
that's why i was speed walking
i hate to let people waiting for me

sesampainya di pintu masuk, aku terus terduduk di lantai
penat yang amat.
bayangkan jela, berjalan sehari suntuk
cam nak cabut je kaki ni

sembang2 with TPK. macam2 yang kitorang sembangkan
best la sembang ngan dia

hantar dia ke stesen komuter (sekali lagi..ya ampun...) and tata~~
jumpa lagi lain kali

aku pun berjalan dengan lemah longlai ke hentian putra dan tunggu bas di situ
naik bas aku terus nak tido
dapat seat belakang sekali, 11C
seat tu xleh nak adjust
aku pun tidur ala2 cam tidur atas meja
pastu pakcik bas tu kejutkan soh tukar tempat kat depan
ada kosong
tukar seat je, aku terus tidur sampai kota bharu

saya sangat gembira apabila berjumpa dengan mereka
mereka itu best................
saya seperti sudah lama mengenali mereka
cuma saya sedih saya tidak dapat berjumpa dengan yang lain-lain
maafkan saya ye kawan-kawan
ada benda yang tak dapat dielakkan
bukan sengaja saya mungkir janji
tolong faham okay

me, farihan, kak sari and neo walked to the Mall
we had lunch at food court
we sembang2 and gossiping :P
neo showed me something in his phone

neo and kak sari didn't finish their food
bak kata neo, "camnila orang bandar. makan x pernah habis."
aku orang kampung rupanya....

kak sari had to go back because she's attending her son's graduation day
bad neo goodbye and kak sari sent me and farihan to KLCC

planned to watch movie
we took a very long time to decide

me: alang, ko nak tengok cite pe?
farihan:ntah ek. ko nak tengok cite pe?
me: aku pun xtau la..aku x rasa cam nak tengok movie pun sebenarnya
farihan:aah..aku pun.mesti tertidur nanti kat dalam"
me: xyah tengok la.patah balik pwtc yuk.nak shopping la..

i bought slippers at vincci klcc.haha
went again to pwtc
took our own sweet time browsing each indie fashion booth
i got myself a tshirt, purse and bookmark, handmade brooches and WWF pin

this incident happened at WWF booth
there was a woman. she's the exhibitor
i was writing my name for support against global warming
and suddenly she said this,
the woman: are you a student?
me: yes.why?
the woman: you are so cute (smiling)
me: aa...(blur)
rasa cam nak beli tshirt WWF tu gak tapi kesempitan purse :P

we sat against the MILO board (..kot.xtau pe nama benda alah tu) and watched battle of the bands
layankan jela..sementara nak hantar farihan kat stesen komuter kul 8

took 11pm bus from kota bharu on 080109
saeh sent me and farihan to bus station

we spent 8 hours on the bus
slept through the journey made our neck and back hurt

arrived hentian putra at 6.30am, headed to surau for Subuh prayer and waited there till mcD opened
we cleaned ourselves in the public toilet
it was sooooooooo sempit okayh :P

around 8am, we went to mcDonald's for breakfast
we ate slowly to kill our time before Youth 09 started
walked to PWTC and did more waiting
and of course time capturing moments

9.30am, we registered at the counter, took our goodie bags and went inside
met sadiq on our way. he is a volunteer for the event
nothing much can we do at that moment because not many booths were opened yet

gua.com.my was launching their new 'face'
we joined the ceremony
watched joe flizzow rapping and infinatez doing acapella on the stage

met kak sari at around 10.30am
went to various booths and we registered ourselves in Rakan Muda, played games at Petronas booth, took photo with joe flizzow, watched TPK's skill in futsal and bla bla bla...

we were waiting for neo actually. he was late. like really late

there was battle of bands but i didn't find them interesting enough :P
went to bijou bazaar and bought some stuff
i ordered something creative and nice for my friend's wedding in 2 weeks time

layan upin & ipin sementara tunggu saeh

bought tickets to kl
i'm going with alang

probably gonna meet few people there
i hope so...

my right hand hurts

award from tomat0masam
thank you

award from zatil
baru hari ni nak amek

tapi kena jawab tag dulu
bak kata zatil, kalau x jawab, nanti kena tarik award tu

My 10 Random Facts/ Habits:

  • tido awal lately
  • makan banyak..hahahaha xD
  • pakai spek tebal :P
  • suka main word challenge kat facebook (jom challenge :D)
  • sangat perasan suara merdu ketika menyanyi (sebab tu selalu hujan..seriyes nih)
  • suka buat2 innocent
  • selalu ambil masa yang lama untuk berfikir
  • saya orangnya suka tidur meniarap :P
  • lambat pickup
  • suka buat2 blur (yang ni mungkin tipu semata2 :P)

malas nak tag..
nak award tu, amek la..
mekaseh lagi sekali zatil...


i had some misunderstanding with my partner regarding our schedule
we thought we heard the same thing but misinterpreted it

i supposed to have patient this morning
and she had given appointment to her patient for this morning
i thought her session was this afternoon and morning was mine
she thought the opposite

i was like mak hilang anak (bak kata Caracol)
calling child patient for afternoon session

luckily, there's one patient who could come on immediate notice

2pm, the patient arrived
after discussing with the supervisor, i didn't have to redo the previous restoration
ooo yeah~~
when i looked back at it, i was impressed with myself *ehem3. rasa cam nak tendang x?* :D
even the doctor could not differentiate the restoration with the natural teeth

planned to do extraction
the patient was brave to allow me to remove his teeth
asked his permission to remove 3 problematic teeth
but he only allowed me to take out 2 teeth
satu lagi tunggu dulu ye
iyelah hazim....

5 minutes to remove 3 teeth
and yippie!!
patient did not complain of pain except when i gave him local, of course

set another appointment for him
and tata hazim..
thank you

after a long thought and small discussion with the vice chairperson, we decided to ask the ex HICOM to be our representatives

don't blame us.
we have requirements to catch up with

full stop

i'm going to kl this friday
have community service on saturday in pengkalan chepa

suddenly received an SMS from HEP saying there will be persidangan pemimpin-pemimpin pelajar this very weekend
and attendance is compulsory
what the ........????????

benda hujung minggu ni, baru hari ni ke nak bagitau??
bengang seyh...
diorang suka buat camni tau
setelah berbincang dengan 2 orang penting yang lain, kami memutuskan untuk hantar wakil je
ingat kita ni apa boleh disuruh-suruh tiba-tiba camtu
amende la diorang ni
tension aku

morning everybody (macamla ramai sangat baca my ramblings :P)

had hot nescafe with turkey toast for breakfast
i'm off to class
oo yeah~~

sudah mau pukul 10pm
alarm berbunyi
sudah mau tido


i did extensive caries management today

Class II amalgam MOD on 14
put liner, base and amalgam
spent 2 1/2 hours for that
lama seyh...
kesian kat patient
tapi..what to do :P

and i went to library after afternoon session
haven't gone to library for 3 months
borrowed few books hoping that i would read them

had nasi goreng kerabu with telur mata and teh beng


today, my patients, husband and wife were supposed to come for appointment

after half an hour, i called the husband and asked their whereabouts
i was almost crying when he said he was sending his kid/grandchild to school
and he couldn't make it

i was really disappointed with myself that time
i am far way lagging behind my colleagues. i'm afraid i could not catch up with the requirements by the end of 4th year...

around 11am, i met nasyitah's patient
he was waiting for his wife
i asked him whether it is true that my patient was sending his kid/grandchild to school
he said, no he wasn't
actually, there's flood at their neighbourhood

i see..

but still i feel disappointed
i really want to go to the beach and cry my heart out loud

2 minggu lepas, ada lecturer bagi assignment kat aku
kes aku lupa camne nak check tooth vitality
huahuahua :D

aku pun dengan taatnya buatlah assignment tu
dah lama siap
aku bawak esei tu ke sana sini
tapi sampai sudah x hantar2

2 malam lepas, aku ada mimpi
mimpi yang membuatkan jantungku berdegup kencang
*mode suspens*

lecturer itu telah masuk ke dalam mimpiku dan menuntut esei yang diberi
siap buat muka sarcastic lagi
terkejut aku bila bangun tidur tu
nak hantar tapi klinik x bukak
kan hari jumaat..cuti
berdebar dowh bila bangun tu

pagi tadi nampak je muka lecturer tu, terus aku hantar esei yang dia mintak

entah pape je mimpi2 aku

lagi xleh blah, aku mimpi aku ada kat bandung
bila bangun aku confused nape aku ada kat hostel
muhahahahahaha xD

ada satu lagi
3 malam lepas aku mimpi berdating dengan seorang lelaki yang x ku nampak mukanya
sape ek?....


i can't sleep..
want to talk to someone..anybody
but afraid they're asleep


this poem is dedicated to you my dear friend..

You are a gem, a diamond,
lasting forever...

never let anyone take that away from you

You are a magnificent fighter,

strong and filled with courage,
never let them pull you to the ground

You are an essential beauty,

flawless in so many ways,
Never let anyone say otherwise..

You are intelligent, wise and vigilant,

never give yourself or others
the benefit of a doubt,

You are warm and filled with kindness,
never let them take u for granted,

Your tears, Your smile, your laughter,
they make knowing you a pleasant journey...

and at the end of the day,
it is who you are that makes people around you happy...

And for those who does not appreciate your worth,
they do not deserve your love,

Trust your heart,
you are a gift from God,
Something that you should treasure for the rest of your life....

that is my toolbox
owh..and my sour face
i wonder why...

the crowd

azeem showing me how he brushed his teeth


that boy in striped shirt is my patient

the boy in white tshirt is his little brother
he's bigger than his big brother
and me asking them how many times should we brush our teeth

About Me

My photo
sarcastic. hot-tempered. self-centered.