a journey of a starless night

serene. tranquil. peaceful.

petang semalam selepas habis merawat patient, saya telah menghantar pesanan ringkas kepada ibu saya yang berada di johor

saya: momi monster!!
ibu:ye babe monster. wassup
(saya sudah tergelak besar ketika menerima mesej itu)
saya: babe baru habis klinik la. jap lagi nak pegi lab. ganas ibu :P
ibu: tau xpe. mak dayat anak cikgu tarikun meninggal jumaat lepas. ari ni jiran depan umah nyai pulak
saya: kenapa meninggal?
ibu: xtau sbbnya. ibu lum sempat nak sembang dgn cikgu tarikun lg
saya: kenapa x bgtau awal?
ibu: kes lupala
saya: apala ibu ni
ibu: wargaemas mmg cmtu. sowi
saya: klala la ibu ni
ibu: hehe

ye. itu perbualan antara saya dan ibu saya petang semalam
rasa mahu balik rumah sahaja minggu ni. muhammad sudah masuk sekolah minggu depan.

did RCT in the morning. alhamdulillah, no problem occurred.
managed to obturate the premolar and i restored the tooth with permanent restoration
did Class II composite restoration and i was satisfied with the result
cantik untuk beginner macam aku. *wink*

during afternoon session, i planned to obturate another case
this one was a disaster *erk!*
i failed to obturate properly and the supervisor asked to start from the beginning
when i told patient that i had to redo the whole procedure, she refused and requested for extraction
aku redha je x dapat buat RCT molar tapi xpela. aku pun x larat nak redo semua

and the time came when i pull out the tooth, prapppp!!
i fractured the root
this, i expected because endo treated tooth is weak
turned out from RCT, became extraction and finished with MOS at 5.45pm
kalau buleh claim semua kan bagus
berangan!! hahahaha

pagi ini mahu pergi ke rumah orang tua untuk bagi oral health education
mesti penat. dengar khabar kat tumpat

i am slowly gaining my confidence and faith in myself
and i hope it will last
longer than before
better than before

2 days spent in kl managed to distract my focus on study or clinical stuffs
yesterday, i was here for a wedding reception
she's my lecturer and ex-PA
congratulations doctor!

i cried my heart out when i with him and seha
i am so depressed with what's going on with my life
it is so stressful that i am thinking of seeing a psychiatrist so i can manage my stress

i know sometimes it is just a little out of line thing that made me cry but considering the burden i've been carrying on my shoulder and have nobody to talk to, it makes me sad
i am trying my best to distract myself from this burden but i can't

i need a kick start for me to move on
exam is in 2 weeks time and i don't think i have enough time to cover all the topics

i am praying but i guess it is not enough
God, help me

mommy, i miss you
ayah, i miss you so much~
and to the sibs, please pray for me. kakak sayang korang tapi kakak x tunjuk
dear, i need you to comfort me

please, i need strength because i know i can do this

yesterday was a long day for me
i had to go to ward for morning round and found out that the round only started at 8.45am
nevermind, at least i had time to cover cases

then, it was our turn for MOS clinic
2 patient failed to come. thus, only 1 of us manage to assist minor oral surgery
the rest, just observed (at least)
that went on until 1.30pm

went straight to musalla and came down to clinic at 2
i had patient and planned for RCT
if you ever have experienced this, you will know that RCT is a long and meticulous procedure
finished at 5.30pm
then, me and gee went again to ward to clerk one case for our oral pathology/medicine session
we were at the ward until 7pm

walked back to hostel and rushed things
because we had student seminar at 8.30pm
i overslept but still came to class
and they tortured me (mentally at least) because the class dragged till 10.30pm

i hadn't had proper meals since morning
so i guessed, why don't i go to kfc to grab something quick
turned out i was wrong

the queue was long
the service was slow
i had to wait until 11.15pm to get my order done

and there you go. breakfast, lunch and dinner crammed into 1

and i slept soundly after that only to realize this morning that i received 2 missed calls from my colleagues
when i asked him this morning why did he call me
he said, "we have one trauma case last night. allleged assault"
damn!!! i missed my on call.........

i am in need of comfort and love
mommy, i need you~

on the contrary, i am about to go out for window shopping *what??*
i just can not tahan myself from browsing through racks of shoes and clothes
biarlah walaupun di kb mall
for the past few days, i have been bloghopping to fill the need of looking at beautiful clothes,accessories, bags and shawls
haha. silly me

semalam, kami ke rumah family cfcs aku di kedai lalat (agaknya)
pergi semata-mata nak makan. hehe
tapi kami sampai lambat
janji pukul 2, tapi sampai pukul 3
bila sampai diorang dah habis makan

sesampainya kami, sembang sikit2 dan mereka pun menghidangkan lauk
wahhhh!!!banyaknya lauk...
kami teruja kerana kami tahu masakan mak angkat aku memang sedap

ada lauk ikan siakap percik (heaven~~), udang goreng dengan sayur, kari ayam (sedap~~), kacang botor dengan sambal belacan (pedas habis la) dan juga ikan kering
masing-masing tambah nasi 2 kali
memang sedap

kami semua menunggu lain kali untuk diajak datang makan kat rumah

i have browsing through my friends' photos when i realized that we've grown up
we all have become someone w never thought we could be when we were in school
most of them have graduated and few have married
while i am still here :P

i even had the thought "why i didn't do well in my SPM trial? if not, i wouldn't be here". i have planned out my journey that i would be doing my first degree in NZ.
but i guess, Allah knows better
fret not, i am still grateful that i am here and still doing things that i love even thought there were times when i felt that i am a useless brat

they have changed so much
i'm not sure whether they still remember as their schoolmate because i didn't really have many friends back then
i'm just a person they've known once then

nevertheless, i still hope that i can meet all of them one day

piles and tonnes of work to be done
less and less time available
more and more distractions appearing
why and why this is happening?

good morning~
(xde modal dah :P)

tidur lambat malam tadi gara-gara facebook-ing
sebabnya, terjumpa page old classmates masa kat muar dulu dan agak terkejut melihat banyak perubahan yang tak disangka-sangka
hasilnya, pagi ini bangun dengan penuh rasa malas dan mata masih lagi berair menahan ngantuk
kejap lagi nak buat RCT ni

sarapan dulu ye

how many times should we brush our teeth?
answer: at least twice daily. once in the morning and before bed. by before bed, i mean, after your last meal and you are sure that you are not taking any food after that. if you do, please feel free to brush your teeth once again.

how do i choose my toothbrush?
answer: please use soft-bristled toothbrush. full stop. and please use fluoridated toothpaste because fluoride will make your teeth more resistant to acid attack.

can i use mouth rinse?
answer: yes, you can. but do not substitute tooth brushing with mouth rinsing. mouth rinsing alone will do nothing good. tooth brushing coupled with flossing is the best method to maintain your oral hygiene.

i always forget to bring my toothbrush wherever i go? how can i maintain my oral hygiene if i go outing?
answer: tooth brushing after every meal is recommended but this is not practical. what you can do is, rinse with tap water after you eat. this will at least remove any food particle and debris. and please drink plenty of plain water to neutralize the acid formed every time you eat.

why my gum always bleed every time i brush my teeth?
answer: because your gum is inflamed. in other word, you have gingivitis. it is caused by plaque formed after you eat. plaque can be removed by tooth brushing and flossing. consult your dentist for the correct tooth brushing technique. accumulated plaque sometimes hardens and become calculus. calculus can only be removed by scaling.

korang sakit hati x bila korang dah beratur nak bayar barang kat kaunter, pastu ada makhluk potong queue?

benda ni berlaku kat kitorang semalam. kat tesco. jam 7pm
line memang tengah panjang. kaunter pulak x banyak yang bukak
redha jela amik line panjang nak bayar barang2 kitorang yang x seberapa ni kan

sedang kitorang berborak sambil tunggu turn nak bayar, elok je makcik ni bawak troli dengan niat nak potong queue. depan aku pulak tu
ewah2..banyak cantik
terus aku menjeling kat dia dengan maksud tersirat, "pehal lak kau nak potong line aku?x reti beratur ke?"
tapi aku diam jela kan...

kebetulan pulak, belakang kitorang dah ada yang sambung queue dan belakang makcik tu pun ada orang sambung queue
habis tu camne?

bila orang depan dah gerak sikit, makcik tu pun tolak troli dia ke depan aku
wahhh!!ingat aku nak bagi can ke? xde maknanya
dengan pantas, aku angkat bakul dan tolak troli makcik tu ke belakang
aku x paham dengan makcik tu kenapa dia mesti tolak2 troli dia kat aku dan tuduh anak dia yang masih kecik, "adik, jangan tolak2. kena orang nanti!"
eh, biar betul kan. dah buat salah xnak mengaku pulak

bila orang depan dah keluarkan barang2 dia yang sangat banyak tu kan, dengan cepat aku terus melangkah ke depan troli makcik tu sambil melaung kat kawan2 yang lain, "eh korang. meh sini barang2 korang. aku bayarkan dulu."

lelaki kat belakang kitorang ada sound makcik tu sedas, "beratur la. apa pulak potong barisan ni? orang lain dah beratur ni"
makcik tu boleh jawab, "manade potong barisan. kita dah lama berdiri kat sini, kata kita potong barisan pulak."

aku diam je sebab aku berjaya menanda territory pembayaran aku dan buat makcik tu bengang.
bengong punya orang. dah la bawak 3 troli pastu nak potong queue pulak
keluar surau, nampak lagi makcik tu
aku pun tenung je dia dengan pandangan menusuk kalbu sampai aku blah
hahahahahahaha!!!!! padan muka

i have been craving for something sweet for the past few days
nothing can satisfy my crave for carbonated drinks and secret recipe's cakes
right after class, i went to tesco with my classmates and dined at KFC
i ordered large drink instead of regular
and guess what? i asked my friends to go to 7eleven so i could have another dose of pepsi
plan was to buy cold drink and chips and spend time watching movies
told you, i bought the big gulp of pepsi
silly me. let me be for just this time
it's not that i regularly gulp carbonated drink

i shared something which was out of people's thinking with my friends
and when everything seems so smooth and perfect, there is something crooked somewhere in the middle

demam dan x larat nak buat apa2 melainkan baring dan tidur
dari semalam lagi dah mula rasa tekak x selesa
bila tengok dalam cermin, pharynx nampak merah instead of pink
tonsils ok. x membesar
diagnosis untuk diri sendiri ialah pharyngitis

bila bangun tidur pagi ni, suara dah xde
ada pun, macam x boleh nak keluar
badan rasa panas, tekak kering, dada rasa sesak
ada selsema pulak tu
confirm demam

pergi student klinik tadi, doktor kata ada URTI
ada 5 ubat kena makan
PCM, amoxycillin, tripolidine, diphenhydramine syrup dan juga difflam mouthwash
tripolidine dan diphenhydramine syrup akan menyebabkan mengantuk
maka saya pun tidak akan ke klinik hari ini sebab takut salah drill gigi. huhu
lagipun, hari ni kena treat pediatric patient
takut jangkitkan kat diorang je..

i feel sleepy even after 6 hours of sleep
there is a presentation i have to prepare but i haven't reach anywhere near half
bluekk :P

from day to day, i don't have the mood to go to clinic
i feel tired
the feeling is overwhelming

it's breakfast again
same menu, bread and cheese and hot nescafe

i plan to do post and core this morning
please pray for me that i am able to remove all the GP
i have been doing the same thing for 2 visits which is wasting time
my friend had issued her first crown
makes me super jealous and i don't feel good about it


those are the topics i have to cover for my presentation this week
what should i put in my slides?
i don't read law
OMG! i am gonna die

i always wanted to go to the beach wearing flowy maxi dress with straw hat and t-bar sandal
and of course a pair of huge shades (which i doubt i could wear it because i am nearly blind :P)

i always love the sound of the wave hitting the sand and fresh breeze caressing the cheeks
and the warmth of the sand is just so relaxing

makes me feel like spending some time at the beach
and losing myself in a blissful surrounding

wearing something like this would be fun ;)

if i wear this, will you take me to the beach?
i hope you will because i'll be happy

like there is nothing else to talk about kan?

mom and sis are on their way to home town
lepas ni jumpa semula masa cuti chinese new year la

esok birthday muhammad
x pernah join diorang celebrate birthday budak kecik tu

it's raining since yesterday and i am in bliss
gosh! why do i have to go to class during this time of weather?....

mom and sis are here with me in my little room
don't know when will they go back

i don't have patient for this morning
why am i always short of patient?
they must think that i am lazy because my chair is always empty
*sigh again*

About Me

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sarcastic. hot-tempered. self-centered.